I did this for us
by KellyKindaHeartsU
Summary: Sesshoumaru decides that he can’t wait 500 years for Kagome, he needs her now. Kagome/Sess Romance/Angst T


My eyes were burning and my whole body was trembling

As long as I can feel him I know that I am not alone. His strong arms gently pull my broken body to his muscular chest, and sleep demands to take me. Though I wish it wouldn't. Not yet. I want to lay here, with him. But at least he is here. Sesshoumaru is here with me.

I lift up my head and immediately wish that I hadn't; my head is throbbing. And by acknowledging the pain in my head, the tenderness of my entire body now demands to be recognized as well. Feeling the tears starting to well up in my eyes, I try to think of something to do other than sleep.

I don't want to sleep again though my body begs for it. My sleep was unfulfilling with no dreams painting the blank canvas of my mind. When I awoke, the only thing to keep me from screaming from all the pain was the touch of Sesshoumaru. Deciding that Sesshoumaru is the only thing keeping me from fully examining the truth of what happened yesterday, I believe he shall be my distraction. I also decide that I want to see his face. But his arms are wrapped around me like steel gates keeping me captive. My body is sore, and I am weak, yet I still I mange to move my body so that I can see his gorgeous face.

Looking at his face, I can already feel the tears start to fall. I was foolish to think that Sesshoumaru would be a distraction. He is, if not more, a part of what happened yesterday than I am. Still I can't help but gaze at his stunning face. His eyes start to flutter open as my tears cascade onto his face. I can't wipe them away because everything still hurts, all my energy gone into moving a couple of inches to watch him sleep.

But now he is awake, his eyes sparkling like the sun, hot and dangerous, filled to the brim with something akin to apprehension. He looks at me for moment before his troubled eyes verve off to the side. Cautiously Sesshoumaru gently guides my head to the crook of his neck, and I cry silently knowing that there is no distraction to be found. That I have to face the reality of what my existence has brought me.

Lying there with him, pieces of the not so distant past come back to me, though I do not wish to replay those images in my head. To decipher what has happened to me requires energy, and like I said, I am tired. But it does not appear that the decision is mine, because even though my body is screaming for tranquility, my brain is relentless in its pursuit. For all the images and words that I do not wish to acknowledge are starting to play in theater of my mind.

**(FLASHBACK)**

The wind is blowing. I know this to be true because my black velvet hair is swinging around me almost violently as I walk. The sun is also rising, but my mind is more fixated on the wind. People, though which people exactly I do not recall, have said that you know that the wind exists by its effects. Like my hair dancing on top of my head as I saunter forward. It is odd but until I heard that saying I had never given much thought to the appearance of the wind. I had always known it to be there. So what if it didn't have a distinct shape or color? I know of the wind's existence, and this was enough to satisfy me. I turn my head to side and glance at the demon that I love. Gazing up at him, I see that his long sliver locks are also swaying in the wind. Looking at him makes me think about how much love is like the wind. You know it is there by its effects.

I blush at my thoughts, but at the same time it is freeing to think them. To think that I love this prideful man that is walking beside me in elegant strides. Realizing that I have been looking at him for quite a while, I regretfully turn my eyes once again to the nature that surrounds us. I do love him though.

Before Sesshoumaru was in my life I had come to know love as something very different than what I understand it to be today. With Inuyasha, love was complicated and unfulfilling. It was difficult to be around someone that you craved so much to be near, to see, to touch. I realize now that it was so exhausting because as often as I found myself reaching out to Inuyasha, I never felt him reaching out for me. The fact that he didn't recoil from my touch, was at the time, enough to satisfy me. Sure, it hurt. A lot…like hell, actually. But I took solace in his acceptance of my touch.

All of that kind of rationalizing though was ultimately unfulfilling. It did nothing to stop my yearning for Inuyasha to come to me. So I would be childish. I would play games. I would to try to make him come to me. When I would approach Inuyasha, my smile would be half as bright as I felt was possible of me to give. Let his smile be larger than mine. Let his actions be more desperate then mine. But they never were. I never did suddenly find myself in his warm embrace or his lips hungrily on mine. Those things were not to be, at least not from Inuyasha.

**(End of FLASHBACK)**

"Kagome." His voice calls to me and demands that I forgo my reminiscing. Now the role of the messenger who will tell me what fate has decided has been taken on by Sesshoumaru who is kneeling next to the bed, looking intently at my face. His golden eyes are sizzling, mesmerizing, leaving me defenseless under their scrutiny. Sesshoumaru leans forward so his lean muscular body towers over me like a beautiful roman sculpture that was made to appease God. The angelic looking demon crosses his arms across his chiseled chest, causing his muscles to bulge, and I decide that Sesshoumaru is indeed, a heavenly piece of art.

"Everything played out like in your dream expect for the part of you coming through the well back to your time alone. The well has since disappeared, as if it never existed."

I lie there replaying Sesshoumaru's words over and over again in my fractured mind. To know that the misery that my body is experiencing is only temporary, the result of the Shickon Jewel merging again with my person, is comforting. But the well has vanished, and Sesshoumaru is here?

Molten tears fall from my tired eyes once I truly process this piece of information, and I become hysterical. How can I ever make this up to him? I turn my head to the side, I can't look at him. He gave up everything to be with me. His title, his land, his everything.

"Kagome." His voice sounds strained, and I refuse to look at him. I cannot bare to look at him. He reaches out and caresses my arm lightly, but I still can't face him. I just can't. My whole being consumed with guilt, for the ramifications of my actions had never once entered my mind until now. My thoughts at the time too polluted with my own selfish desires to think of anyone else. It was the only moment in my life when I truly strayed from my good girl persona, not wanting Sesshoumaru and I to become victims of fate.

"Didn't you want this? I thought…." His words wash over me like a tidal wave. I had told Sesshoumaru of my dream and how I believed it was an omen of things to come. That the Shickon Jewel would send me back to my time after Naruku was killed, and the portal connecting the two eras would be forever closed. I shared this with him because yes, I wanted this. I wanted Sesshoumaru here in my time, with me.

"Sess..houma..ru." I say, my voice so unbearably horse that his name comes out in bits and pieces. At the sound of his name, he tears himself away from me.

I reach for him, but he moves out of my grasp. Watching him through clouded eyes, I lie motionless as he stands on the carpeted floor right at the end of my bed. An unmistakable sense of dread devours me. Why is he reacting like this? Fuck. Is he having second thoughts? My sobs become vicious while my whole body trembles at this hideous thought.

Anxiety fills me as I slowly drag my burning body to him. His motive for moving away from me become clear once I look into his face. Sesshoumaru eyes are puffy and red. Once he realizes I can see his face, he quickly moves away from me. I feel helpless. So, I too, cry.

He is pacing now, back and forth in front of me like a caged animal ready to attack. I sit on the foot of the bed with tears streaming down my face, holding my breath. Suddenly, he stops moving and stands before me. His eyes appear so crazed that it hurts to look at them, but I find myself unable to break his fury filled gaze. Finally, he speaks.

"You're killing me here, Kagome!" The words escape his mouth with such volume that they sound more like a roar of a lion than actual words. They are raw, cutting, and I swear I can feel them stabbing away at my soul. My battered body is paralyzed, incapable of doing anything else, so I watch through strained eyes as his angel white skin becomes marred with a violent shade of red.

"Don't you understand that I did this for us?! Not for me. Not for you. But for us, damn it!" His words erupt from him, and they clarify everything.

I pull myself to my feet. Once I reach him, I wrap my arms around him and lay my head on his chest. He does not push me away; he just stands there allowing me to hold him in my arms.

"I love you too," I whisper. I can't say it any louder than that. For all my emotions, spurred on by his words, have clamed ownership over my body, leaving me weak. But he heard me. I know he heard me.

He kisses me. He kisses me with such vigor that I can feel the aftermath of the kiss all throughout my busted body. I feel Sesshoumaru's arms snake around my body as he picks me up bride style and places me on the bed. I lie on my back as he gets on top of me. Our eyes meet. Then our lips. And our kisses are hungry and wild.

He pulls away from me, hovering over me like my very own angle of mercy, gazing at my body. His white mane draped over our bodies like a silk blanket. Time passes, and we remain still.

Slowly his face begins to look pained, and I can feel my heart palpitating in my chest. I become dumbfounded at his sudden allowance of facial expressions. Numerous times he starts to speak only to stop himself. I hold my breath, too hypnotized by his uncharacteristic actions to do anything else. His eyes burst open, and his fiery filled gaze locks into mine.

"I love you." He finally says with such force and urgency, as if those words have been plaguing him for some time.

With those words stated and forever stored in the vaults of our minds, I don't wish for either of us to talk. No. No more words. Because now, all that I want to do is show him how much I love him. And all I want to feel is how much he loves me. By his words, by his touch, I know that he loves me. But mostly I know that he loves me because he is here. Sesshoumaru is here with me.

_Author note: Hi! Yeah, so this is my first fanfic. I was super nervous about posting, but that didn't hurt or anything Hope you liked it!!_


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